Wednesday, August 11, 2010

a look back in novacaine

I have a confession to make. About I how I feel right now, about the last six years. Now, that the novacaine is wearing off. So here I go...

I had a huge crush on this classmate, and I dare say I was not the only one :P ... from the 9th grade onwards.... didn't have the guts to tell her for a long time! But fortunately things worked out and we started going out in our 11th!! Man!those were the craziest, wildest and happiest days of my life...2003-2005... the two final years of school leading up to the ISC! I had a blast: in a phrase, the vacation and celebration that started at the end of the ICSE continued for two whole years, and before we knew we were taking the ISC! Well I did screw up a bit, coming out with a mere 61%... also the relationship not working out.We sort of just fell apart. People talking, pointing fingers, all that gossip, and in between, two kids just out of school... guess I should have had more guts...will I ever know what really went wrong? Keep asking myself that. And everytime, the details just get more confusing. But I don't resent that; the memory hurts, but the pain also reminds me that at one point it was all true, and I had things exactly the way I wanted!(thanx bro) At the moment when things started going downhill, after we left school, friends for thirteen years went separate ways, all promises seemed fake; the world was literally changing, and everything seemed to fall apart! But now looking back, past EFLU, and the Phonology classes, the interview that I screwed up, the second list I was placed in, and trying to look into the not so distant future, into another list, when I shall claim what is rightfuly mine, I hear a voice inside, whisper, "Hell, I did alright". All these years those memories have kept me going; things that worked out, and things that didn't,friends whom I found and the ones I lost... the laughter and the tears... went into making me who(ever) I am today. May be things could have been done better,but looking back now, I don't think I will change those moments at all! I don't regret anything, and that's all that matters!And in any case, I will,at least, have a great great story to tell... or at least to recollect to myself! When I'm done, when the time comes for me to hang the gloves on the wall, the day I say"That's it! I'm done.", the day I retire, at least I won't get bored. I will have all the materials to pen the next great pulp-fiction!! :P

hoooooooooo- haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

p.s. the novacaine's gone, but I guess some of the booze is still left inside... lol!!

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