Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Friday, June 19, 2009

Introspections of a Reluctant Smoker

I dont want to go down that lane.
I dont want to smoke that joint.
There was then; the dancing smoke that rose was mine.
But the butt-end is all that's left,
And I don't want to go down that lane.

The ghost of our smoke has haunted me for long.
For sometime the ghost was restless;
It has long since given up.
The last cigarrete has been smoked.
The lane lies covered in butt-ends and ashes;
But that is all; the smoke does not dance anymore.
Each butt is a memory. Puff on.
But when the last cigarrete has been smoked,
I dont want to go down that lane anymore.

I stand at the mouth, and glance down:
The lane seems alluring,
Smacks of some long forgotten aroma...nostalgia.
I can see the scattered butt-ends though.
What is the use of smoking old butt-ends?
The years together were like cigarretes;
Once it has been smoked...the sweet sweet cancer!
And now, all that's left are butt-ends.
No use smoking them;
Just butt-ends, that were once cigarretes.


Time to let go!
Time to forget!
But not yet the time to be forgiven?
Broken heart, dried up tears...
Memories clouding the long lost years;
Words of love, hope turning into fear.
Nothing left to say...Just
Wish you were here...

Under the naked sky,
Sun-dried tears, incomplete dreams and a hopeless sigh;
You will never again let me try.
Though I'll never have you near,
wish you were here...

Old school of broken dreams;
Lost promises and forgotten hymns
Deserted corridors and the unclimbed stair,
Wish you were here...

Friday, April 10, 2009


Again! Can it be...true? Again?
All over! And I thought I'd learned
from the last one...
But then, I must not have;
it couldd not have been the last one.
I would have learned.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

so many yesterdays....from dusk till twilight...yet the memory's still fresh

Today, I dont know why,but I suddenly thought of our high school graduation party: st.xavier's burdwan, isc 2005. Don't ask me what exactly i thought or how exactly I felt....but I somehow stumbled across a lot of stuff which I had no idea where they came from! I could just remember that last song playing as we lingered over the last few seconds of our wonder years, and it suddenly occured to me what it was all about:“All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope... all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect... who might be searching for us.”

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.”

“I guess sometimes the ground can shift between your feet. Sometimes your footing slips. You stumble. And sometimes you grab what's close to you and hold on as tight as you can.”

“Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes who stays in our memories forevermore."

As I visualised that night, five years ago,I was beginning to wonder what were we thinking at that precise moment? For only the images of our slow dancing bodies were clear to me, the emotions were still blurred! No sooner had I begun to ponder the depths of my memoirs to look for what I was missing that it occured to me, what else could we have thought? what else could we have wished, than to close our eyes and wish that the slow music would never end?