Thursday, December 6, 2012

One Walked Among the Muses

The echo of her feet sound the beats
Of monsoon's invitation.
Thirst. The Earth's
Impatience groans in exhilarated agony, and
Untarnished soil moans to be trodden.
Like the slow creeping moonlight
Embalming the horizon,
Ethereal, the grace of her motion
Intoxicates, and the ground in her path drifts,
Into a timeless reverie.

The white silk gently hugs her form,
And a stream of honey drapes her shoulder.
She turns her head, and a single rose,
On the back of her neck, adorned
In its lofty seat,
Tells an unearthly tale to those who dare listen.

The dying winter's last breath-
That rejuvenating south wind-
Desperate for another touch,
Blows one last time,
And permeating the air with a fragrance of poesy,
Gently caresses a strand from over her eyes.
The heavens rumble deep,
As what unfathomable thought crosses her mind,
With a careless smile that litters a thousand poets.

Unaware she walks, envy of the muses.
And as the crashing waves pause to admire,
Centuries die beneath her footsteps.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

This Chemical Romance

The only solace lingering hereabout
Just can’t get the thought out
Getting harder to resist
The temptation to slit my wrist
The longing for dessert
The cold sweet razor
So I drag the blade across my thigh
Relish it like apple pie
Just one more try
These thoughts don’t run dry
Something’s still keeping me alive
Deep and long… this old strife
These cuts on my arm
Meant to cause much more than just harm
Black roses on the Reaper’s farm
One thought to keep me warm
One day… one day…
You’ll be all mine.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

NOTICE: A New Home

Okay! So, I have been debating, for some time now, whether or not there is any real need for this 'notice' (rolls eyes)? But, a quick glance over some of the comments I have received on my posts here, including some rather angry and irritated ones (especially FOR those ones), convinced me that I should put this one up. For the benefit of those who (might) end up here (voluntarily, or by accident). This blog is moving to a new home (oh yeah! Felt good to say that. I know... I know... it's kind of sad, in a Freudian way). I really appreciate the views and opinions of those who have taken the time and patience to read through my literary whims and provided me with valuable feedbacks. Thank you all, and I hope you will continue to oblige me with your patronage. I really enjoy the feeling I get when I see the stats reflecting the page visits jump up, and the comments you guys leave are like the cherry on the top.

I am moving the blog to a different server- Wordpress. You can reach all my contents, old and new, by looking up square root of 3, if you are not already familiar with it. Okay, that was corny. Just couldn't resist saying it. Shoot me.

Anyway, I will keep updating this blog too- whenever I get some extra time. I have no intentions of killing the very first page I ever created. It might just have some lag to it is all. There are a couple of reasons for the move. The first one is simply that I like Wordpress's layout and their templates. It just feels that much simpler, and more elegant. The second one involves my eternal love for the Web, and visiting new corners of it. This leads me to my third reason for relegating Blogger to a second choice. I love the Web. And when I love someone/some thing, it makes me really really angry if someone hurts them/it. Google have, in recent years, been doing much of the same shit that Microsoft, that eternal congregation of idiots, did back in the 90s by trying to force all websites to adhere to its proprietary standards (I.E.) and thus force Windows, and Internet Explorer, down people's throats. Well, we all know how that ended for Microsoft. Not only did Apple completely decimate Microsoft in terms of revenue generation (Apple is worth 4.5 Microsofts, as of 2011), but Internet Explorer has become the most ridiculed and hated browser of all times. Google, since completely destroying competitive search engines like Yahoo and Rediff, have followed a somewhat similar course of action. True, unlike Microsoft's botched attempt at a browser, Google's efforts were based around providing an unmatched search engine. Google did what it claimed, and just like they claimed they did it better than anybody else. But things have been changing recently. Google have tried to unethically prevent competitive search engines from returning results. Google have done nothing to stop the spread of numerous intrusive Adsense adverts, malwares, spam sites and notoriously infringing pop-up/under campaigns from shady, two-bit companies like Zeobit. Zeobit, in particular, has become an everyday nuisance for MAC users, and/or people who use iTunes or any Macintosh software, including Safari. It is only a matter of time before Zeobit does the same thing to PC users with their PCkeeper bundle. Zeobit has slowly and steadily extended this net of breaking-n-entering into people's browsers, and all the while Google have done nothing to stop it. More importantly, and just because they could do so, Google decided to arbitrarily re-rank their search results, which has adversely affected millions of website owners. Add to this the fact that Google already knows too much about us, I just don't feel the rush to supply Google with any more personal informations.

Personally, I don't harbor as much antipathy for Google as I do for Microsoft, or Adobe, whose crimes against the Web are unforgivable. Remember, when Adobe bought Flash? Flash was becoming the standard for viewing videos on the web, and Adobe forced a merger down their throat. Since then Flash has only gone downhill, with numerous reports of repeated crashes, freezes, and uncountable updates amounting upto 30 megabytes every time. Adobe felt, given that almost NO website would display properly without Flash, that they could run their own show. That was until that ill-fated day when they ran afoul of Steve Jobs. You know how they say, to kill a monster you need a bigger monster? Jobs was that bigger monster. He released iPad, the device that was going to define the tablet industry, without any kind of support for Flash! People panicked at the idea of a tablet, a primarily web-oriented device, lacking Flash. But Jobs was adamant and, like in all other Apple hardware, completely blocked the chances of installing something on the iPad that he didn't consider fit for it. Apple was able to figure out their own way of running web-based videos, and YouTube developed their own iPad centered App. In his (in)famous interview, the ever so unforgiving Jobs quoted, "I will grab Adobe by the neck, and force them to drink from the spring I choose". And so he did. Last year, after years of engaging in a war that they were destined to loose, Adobe declared they will be making iOS oriented changes to Flash.

Microsoft learned their lesson years back, and have since then behaved more gently. Adobe learned it the hard way. It is Google's turn next, it seems. Apple has already made it clear that they are willing to meet Google head-on by removing all support for Google maps from iPhone 5 and iOS 6 in general. Microsoft is rumored to be working on a completely different paradigm of search engines that internal sources claim will obliterate Google. Now, knowing Microsoft, it is going to be a hit-or-miss kind of a thing. But, if I was running Google, I would think twice before locking horns with Apple's ruthless war-machine. That would be unadvisable. But, to take on Apple and Microsoft at the same time? Now that is the dark side of the moon. I don't know what Google is playing at. But I don't see how this could possibly end well for them. Google has decided to sit on a barrel of TNT, and play with matchsticks. Their call. But I don't fancy being around when the whole thing blows up in their face. Also, I have moral objections against hurting or messing around with the last free piece of space left for free people- the Web. Hence, I am moving.

Friday, August 17, 2012


You don’t know me.
So, please, don’t be nice-
I am strong, but I’ve been known to fade.
And you don’t know me.
I am comfortable standing in the shade.

There’s no need for cruelty.
So, please don’t be nice.
You don’t know the half of it-
Even if you know about ‘fire’ and ‘ice’.

You don’t know me.
But, do sit down. Have a cigar.
Talk to me. You can tell me who you are.
But please don’t move your finger-
I am used to it being on that trigger.

You don’t know me.
And we never share a seat.
Though I am not sure you want to-
But I would have loved to chat a bit.

You never knew me.
So off you go- hop, skip and jump.
And I will catch just one more glimpse of that smile.
But, don’t worry. Nothing will be owed-
When you walk your perfect mile.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Looking Back From Auckland

Since I moved to the City of Sails, or lets just say Auckland, things have been a lot different. Times have changed so fast, sometimes despite my reluctance, and a lot of what I thought I would never let go are beginning to loosen their grips on my subconscious.  It seems like it was just yesterday that I was looking out of the window of  Singapore Airlines Flight- 721, trying to catch my first glimpse of this gorgeous city! I can't believe I've been here almost half a year now! Time flew by so fast, and Auckland has been more than gracious to me. I knew I was going to love this city the moment I set foot outside the Airport, and I really couldn't have been more right. These have been five of the most wonderful months of my life, and I have woken up everyday in this beautiful city without dreading having to get out of bed. Well, it's not much as it stands, but in light of the last couple of years it's more than a day in Disneyland. I have met some of the most wonderful people here, the city is achingly mesmerizing, and the University has one of the finest departments in the world. I have had the opportunity of getting to know and work alongside a magnificent woman- almost hypnotizing in her charm and brilliance ( I fear it is going to make facing the end of the year rather dreadful. Oh! Why must every rose come with its thorns?). I finally got to experience what it's like to have a true mentor. I have had tons of fun through some grueling hours in the library and the lab trying to decipher some seemingly undecipherable problems. And I have had the great joy of working with Dr Jason Brown- the coolest and the greatest supervisor ever. Jason has been a constant source of guidance and encouragement ever since the day I walked into his lab on that drizzly February morning. He has this amazing ability to make people find a way out of any problem without holding their hands, and as a result everyone comes out stronger. He has been there for every little query and doubt I have had, and at times has lent a hand with courses I wasn't doing with him. Through him I've got to know some of the most prominent academics, and have had the opportunity to learn from some of the most prolific and rebellious people working in the field. Chris Golston (California), Karsten Koch(UBC) and Kehn Rehg( Hawaii) are three people I have been incredibly lucky to get to know, thanks to Jason. Chris actually gave me the first push I needed to get started in the right direction with my Master's thesis. Without that tiny hint about underspecification from Chris ( and a subsequent and more elaborate explanation from S) I would still be stuck. Karsten and Kehn are both extraordinary field-workers, and Kehn brings over twenty years of experience in in-the-field phonological analysis to the table.  I have heard some of the most inspiring stories about field work from Dr Kehn Rehg, and it helps so much to have that added motivation when you are just about to embark on that journey yourself, taking your first baby-steps in the direction. And I have Jason to thank for this incredible experience. My first semester has been more than just 'eventful' here in UoA.

Of course, I have been incredibly happy and productive in these past few months. But I have still wondered, during some late night strolls around the Seafield View Road, about the long and strange trip I've been on since 2006. That year will always be important to me, although not very endearing. That was the year that my life, as I had known it for twenty years, changed completely. Since then, it has been one hell of a roller-coaster ride. There has been ups, and there has been downs ( and a friggin' lot of them, I must say), but it has never really been the same. I suppose one of the most important things I have learned over the past few years is that sometimes there is no going back. There will always be some threads of the old life that you can't pick up. You will never be able to tie them up into neat little butterflies, and that's just something you have got to learn to live with- there will always be loose ends left. But I suppose that won't matter... not in the end. I haven't forgotten the mistakes I made, seven years back, and some after. I am not particularly proud of the way I have done certain things in the past, and if I could go back in time and do them over, I would do them differently. But I like to think that I have paid the price, along with all accumulated interests. I have done my time. Now, after almost a decade, I will like to put it all behind me. I will like to move on. And for once, I am not dreading the journey ahead. To quote Tolkien, "I think I am quite ready for another adventure." In parting then, I will like to acknowledge my eternal debt to some very special people who had, at different times, graced my life with their presence, but have since then moved on. They left their mark on me, and they influenced my life in no small measure. It is because of them that I am who I am. I have carried the memories with me for seven years, and sometimes they have weighed down on me like the world was upon my shoulders. And I don't say that with any amount of regret. They may not understand this, but for the longest time those memories were the only things I had going for me. So, thanks S.H., M.K.B., R.G., and A.T. And most of all thanks L- you believed in me when no one else in the world wanted to touch me. I couldn't have done it without you. Wish your were here. I will cherish the memories forever. And God! We have got such a lot of them, haven't we? I can't even begin to recall them all. But, as it is with me, I like to think of everything in life as a Bob Dylan or a Beatles song. And there is that one line in that one Beatles song-

"You and I have memories
  Longer than the road that stretches ahead"

I think that's quite true here.

Thursday, May 24, 2012


There aren't a lot many things that scare me. Now, I don't mean to be a hero, or something of the sort. I have just learned, over some really long and hard years, to not give a damn about most things. But I do fear certain things, and they scare the living daylights out of me- an old spot by the side of a highway near the outskirts of a small dead-end town in eastern India, an old building where I spent much of my youth, a lingering memory of the smell of someone's skin, a handful of old conversations that I try real hard to keep out of my mind, warm summer evenings, and the letter S of the English alphabet.

I fear them, not because they are inherently fearsome, but because they are constant reminders of an inescapable truth:

"Some dreams never come true. And they never stop haunting you. You can only run so far."

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Lost in Transition

"Disorder increases with time, because we measure time in the direction in which disorder increases."
    ~~ Stephen William Hawking~~

   I am here, you say.
   But am I, really?
I thought then, “ 'there', is where I want to be....”
Didn't think, going away would entail letting go;

I let go.
I let go of what I had,
Of what I knew;
That which allowed me the capacity for 'dreams',
Thinking, 'there'- 'here'- I would find what I seek.
Now I see, in leaving I have left behind
All, for what I'll be yearning.

But 'here' I am, come from 'there'!
And the fading trails of a lingering wish;
That 'here' wasn't a lifetime removed from 'there'