Of Traps and Tribulations

So I read the R Trap. Nicely done! "More often than not, we are likely to find ourselves in a labyrinth where the factor that proved to be the foundation of one relationship turned out to be the undoing of another." Indeed...how very true. But I can't help thinking that possessiveness, and the urge to deny that you are with , well for lack of a better word,someone "used" is at the bottom of it all. If only we accepted that all yesterdays come from some tomorrow things could be better. What keeps surprising me is for just how large a majority of us, 'faithfulness' is such a hyperbolic and super-inflated concept. And in strange ways too! Every single one seem to have his/her own definition of faithfulness, and moreover a mere disagreement over the definitions is enough to have you tagged as a person both undeserving and incapable of faith, 'the unfaithful'. You can most certainly avoid being tagged but at what cost? How do you prove your faith? Being faithful to one person, at least by this definition of 'faithful', will essentially mean being 'unfaithful' to a large number of others. Being faithful to you present will essentially entail a complete rift from your past, that necessary portion of history which makes you what you are.
"...the months and weeks that have spanned these two years have found me doing a variety of two things, which I have realized, people (especially men) who are out of a relationship do - returning to places which bring back memories, re-reading the couple of emails or text messages left, trying to remember sweet words of yore over a couple of drinks or three and so forth."

Being faithful to one aspect of your life, say your 'relationship', will demand marginalizing all the other aspects of it. For under this strict and uncompromisable definition of 'faith', the object of 'faith' must come second to none and nothing, irrespective of the circumstances. Thus your old friend might have had to witness a parental break-up, but you are not supposed to talk to her, because the object of your 'faith' demands that you contemplate the beauty of the moon, and make plans about children to come in approximately a decades time(if they at all do). You might have a test to take next morning and yet you are supposed to stay up the whole night, or not resent being woken every half an hour, discussing the quintessential features of a successful relationship. All for 'faith'. For if we don't have 'faith', how are we different from the animals, right?

I have walked through darkness and uncertainty, pain and doubts for six long years. And I have never once resented that. Never asked "why me". Every time I came close to something that nearly broke me, and yet didn't, as if to leave me for some sport for next time,I emerged stronger, clearer. Each time it answered some more of the questions that crowded my mind. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. No one gives a damn what you've been through. They only expect you to be strong, to go through it, to use it as a learning experience. And then, once it has been learned, you are supposed to pretend it never happened. When you emerge stronger, you are not supposed to use the strength to pursue anything. Pursuit of Happiness is just some idea of Benjamin Franklin, to make movies about, to weep when you see Will Smith at it, but never to follow. The moment you pursue, you are not being 'faithful'. 'Faithfulness', essentially, is something static, something stagnant. Like the surface of the still lake, you are not supposed to send ripples through it. It's like a big, happy house, you get in and close the door on the world. Lest some of the happiness slips out. You throw out all the old clothes, divide up all the pictures, cut the old people out, sell your muscle car, lock up the old stamp book, and pretend that there never was any 'yesterday'. All for faith. Else you're a 'fallen'.


Angels are bright still
Though the brightest fell
But how do you know,
He lost any of his brightness in falling?

===D.H. Lawrence===